Self-Awareness or Intellectualization?
The second we are born we are in a constant whirlwind of learning and developing the self. We learn about ourselves through experience, through curiosity, through story telling, and through conversation. We also have the additional benefit of learning more about ourselves with self-help books and podcasts as well as therapy.
All of this learning is what helps us to gain a sense of self-awareness, which is our ability to understand the various things that make up our personality, our values, our beliefs, emotions and thoughts. Self-awareness becomes gently woven into the seams, and fabric of who we are and shows up at various points throughout our lives.
Self-awareness is amazing.
To be self-aware is needed.
However, self-awareness can also be a defense mechanism.
What are defense mechanisms?
This concept was introduced by Sigmund Freud and his daughter, Anna who state that defense mechanisms are unconscious protective measures that we employ when thoughts or emotions are too overwhelming for the psyche.
The psyche includes the mind’s Id, Ego and Superego.
The Id represents our basic instincts and desires, seeking immediate gratification.
The Ego, guided by reality, balances the Id’s impulses with social norms.
The Superego is our moral conscience, pushing us to follow ethical standards and achieve our ideal self.
Together, they shape our behavior and personality while striving for homeostasis within.
When there isn’t homeostasis, meaning the Id and Superego are at odds, the Ego will deploy strategies that avoid or mitigate the discomfort. These strategies are our defense mechanisms.
There are a TON of defense mechanisms from projection to denial. The one that I want to focus on is intellectualization.
What is intellectualization?
The American Psychological Association defines it as a defense mechanism in which conflicts or emotional problems are dealt with abstractly or concealed by excessive intellectual activity. Intellecutalization focuses on the FACTS rather than the FEELING. This defense mechanism works to reduce discomfort by thinking of the logic and the intellectual aspect of situations.
It can be difficult to discern whether you’re implementing the use of intellectualization or whether you are just being self-aware. Intellectualization can show up through:
Speaking about situations that were distressing, traumatizing, or emotionally provoking with little to no emotion.
Explaining away emotions that do surface with facts and logic by articulating the why and what, any potential causes, and discussing related thoughts.
A sense of distance or disconnect from situations through the use of statements, “I mean, logically I know that….”
To process and heal we don’t always need the self-aware part of us to come in and rescue.
What do I do if I’m intellectualizing?
Sit with the feeling.
Sit with it.
And then sit with it some more.
Start with labeling your feeling.
Labeling what is occurring within your inner world can be difficult. If you find that this is hard then you may want to try journaling, voice noting to yourself what is stirring up within or having vulnerable discussions with trusting individuals. These strategies can help to bring clarity, which allows us to reduce the chaos.
Locate the feeling.
Where in the body is this feeling located?
What are the individual sensations?
Is it heavy? Warm? Vibrating? Tingling?
Does this feeling impact my breathing?
You may notice during this part the brain wants to intellectualize - It wants to escape.
You’ve labeled the emotion and as you’re trying to be intentional and mindful the desire to problem solve sneaks in. Take this moment to pause and acknowledge the discomfort and fear. It can be helpful to place a hand to heart and reconnect with what your body is trying to tell you through observation and sensation. Remember to breathe.
Sit in the feeling.
We don’t want to run or avoid our feelings, instead we want to sit with them because they deserve to be felt. Sitting with a feeling allows us to process what is surfacing with the hope of gaining clarity, insight, or a sense of relief. We need the emotion and feeling to understand the part of us that feels deeply and the part of us that was hurt.
Validate and Self-soothe.
Your feelings matter and they are important.
Give yourself permission to feel and heal.
Be proud of yourself for allowing them to exist.
Take care of yourself through breathing exercises, grounding techniques, or small distractions. These ways of caring for ourselves isn’t running away or pushing the feeling away. Rather, it signals to our system that we are safe to explore without drowning or flooding ourselves in it.
As always, remember that you don’t have to do the work alone. Tapping into emotions can feel overwhelming and scary! It can help to explore our defenses, our intellectualization, our awareness, and our feelings alongside a therapist. A therapist can assist in guiding, challenging and sitting with you as we work with our awareness to grow through our experiences rather than simply repeat them. Start small and stay curious!
